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Have You ever Wondered Why We Find Loneliness Difficult?

by Editor

I have never been more alone in my life. I was paddling my SUP down the Whanganui River in New Zealand. Ever since I had pushed off from the bank five days before, I had been totally on my own. The steep wooded valley sides ensured that I had no phone reception for the duration of the journey. To this day it is still one of the happiest experiences of my life. I was alone, yet never once did I feel lonely. Conversely some of my loneliest moments in life have been when I have been surrounded by others – a crowded college, a busy restaurant, a packed music festival. So, what actually is loneliness, and why do we find it so difficult?

We might assume that loneliness is an age-old problem, but it’s not – at least according to the Cultural Historian, Fay Bound Alberti. In her fascinating book, A Biography of Loneliness, she notes that the concept of loneliness, in it’s modern negative sense, didn’t really exist in the English language before 1800. It’s not that people we never alone before that, but their experience of it wasn’t perceived negatively in the way that it is now.

Indeed, according to numerous surveys, the experience of loneliness appears to be increasing. And it’s not just a problem for the elderly who are living alone. In fact, the loneliest demographic in the UK today is students aged 18-24. Those who you might expect to be most connected also seem to be most alone.  This loneliness has massive consequences both psychologically and physically.

The journalist, Sebastian Junger, notes something very disturbing about the experiences of American military personal returning from war zones. Their experiences of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) are greater than those from any of other nation. Junger came to realise that the problem was not so much with what happened when they went away – there is no reason to think that those in the American military should have necessarily had more traumatic experiences than those from other countries. The problem lay with what happened when they came home. Fighting in a war they had a sense of purpose and camaraderie. Yet returning to one of the most individualistic countries in the world they lacked both direction and, most crucially, a sense of belonging.

Loneliness also has implications for our physical health. The biggest factor in determining someone’s life expectancy is not the amount of exercise they do or how much they might smoke or drink. The most reliable indicator of life expectancy is the quality of a person’s relationships.

So, what is making us so lonely? It would be easy to lay all the blame on the internet, and it is certainly not without its problems. Watching an endless feed of carefully curated highlights from other people’s social lives can certainly compound our feelings of loneliness. However, the modern problem of loneliness predates the invention of the internet.

Fay Bound Alberti suggests two reasons for our modern experience of loneliness:

Firstly, Darwin’s theory of evolution profoundly changed the way we view other people. In a world where only the fittest survive, it is all too easy to go from stop seeing other people as community and instead to view them as competition. We can’t all succeed, so our success depends upon someone else’s failure.

The other reason, she cites, is the decline of religious belief in the West. She explains that up until 1800 it was more common to describe the state of being on one’s own as ‘solitude’. However, whereas loneliness almost always has negative connotations, solitude was seen as a positive thing. The difference is that while solitude means being cut off (for a time) from human connections, this was normally done with the intention of developing one’s connection with God.

Could it be that the problem of living life without any thought with God (as so many living in the West do) is that when we are alone, we really are alone with no one else to turn to? And perhaps it also means that we end up seeking from others the kind of love, belonging and intimacy that we were meant to get from God himself? Perhaps our disappointment in others is at least partly because we are asking too much of them. What if we were designed to connect on the deepest level with the creator of the universe? No friend, neighbour, colleague, lover or even spouse will be able to fill that void.

If it is the case that we were created to connect, not just with each other, but also with God himself, how might we rediscover that connection? How could it become a personal experience and not just an abstract concept?

In her moving novel, Beautiful World, where are You? Sally Rooney’s four main characters provide a profound reflection on the challenges of living in contemporary society. All of them are seeking connection and belonging in world that as left them feeling both alone and adrift. One of the characters, Alice, despite her suspicion of institutional religion and her fear of seeming weird to her friend, acknowledges that she finds herself being drawn to consider afresh the person of Jesus – not just a character from literature or even just a historical figure, but as someone that she could actually love in a meaningful sense.

As I consider the accounts of Jesus life, I’m struck by the fact that he although he is often alone (a deliberate decision to enable him to experience solitude with his heavenly Father) there is only one occasion when he seems to experience what we might call ‘loneliness’. During his crucifixion Jesus is abandoned – not just by his friends and followers, but seemingly by God himself. The Christian contention is that Jesus, who knew the deepest connection with God, somehow gave up that connection so that we might gain it. Through Jesus’ disconnection we can find reconnection with God himself.

The French Mathematician Blaise Pascal believed that ‘All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.’ He himself had come to experience this profound connection with God that enabled him to see time alone not negatively as a loneliness, but positively as a solitude – a time to connect with God. Not that this should become our permanent state like it did for the 5th Century Syrian ascetic, Simeon Stylites, who spent 37 years living on top of a pillar in an effort to live in total solitude! Being reconnected to God also helps us to connect with others. Becoming a Christian means becoming part of the church – not an old building where we get bored but a real family where we find real belonging.

Spring Harvest

by Editor

It was great to be back at Skegness for Spring Harvest This was the fourth time I have spoken there having previously been at Minehead, Harrogate, as well as Skegness – prior to lockdown. There were only around 2,000 adults on site this year, which shows that things haven’t quite bounced-back to pre-Covid levels, but it was still really good to be there in person!

This time I was invited to lead three afternoon seminars. Spring Harvest’s leadership selected the topics I was to address in the sessions, and what they went for was: “Do Christians and Muslims Worship the Same God?”, “Sexuality: Is Christianity Oppressive?” and “How to Share Your Faith Without Getting Fired or Cancelled?” There were between 400-600 people there on each afternoon, depending on the topic. This year they put the afternoon seminars on a bigger stage, to make them available to more people, which seemed to work well. Running Q&A in large crowds is harder, but the stewards were really helpful, working a roving mic around the crowd to facilitate the questions.

The first seminar on Christianity and Islam was obviously based on the book I had published during lockdown. That was an enjoyable session to lead, and as a speaker you can always tell when an audience is engaged and tracking what you are saying, and this was a great audience – as became even more apparent in the really thoughtful ways issues were raised in the Q&A.

On the second afternoon, I was asked to look at one of the major objections to Christianity in our culture – that the Christian faith is oppressive in the area of human sexuality. It was brave of Spring Harvest to choose that topic because it is always an area of controversy and one which it is easier to avoid. I had just one hour to look at everything from sexuality to same-sex attraction to marriage and what that is, to transgender issues! What we really tried to focus in on was the issue of identity. It’s in that area that there is in fact a profound clash with the gospel because the gospel of Christ defines who we are. People today are encouraged to forge their own identity, but the gospel is about Christ giving us a new identity. But I tried to make it also very invitational, because Jesus turns nobody away because of their sexuality or where they are on the gender question. We are all asked to come to Christ and lay our lives before him and surrender all to him. Stephen McAlpine’s phrase is that we offer Christ a ‘blank cheque’ and there are implications for all of us in that. I referred to some of Rosaria Butterfield’s work in this area, which is incredibly helpful. Rosaria was a left-leaning academic, who was a lesbian, lecturing in queer theory in the English faculty of a major university – and is now a Christian; living a very different life in all those areas. In her article for the Gospel Coalition, she said that there are three errors that Christians make when addressing sexuality. The first is outright homophobia. That is present in the church, in terms of seeing people who identify as LGBTQI+ as different from the rest of humanity, or as being uniquely sinful – and that’s wrong. Secondly, the other error is to fail to confront practices which the Bible says are wrong. While Jesus certainly loves sinners, he does not condone sin and calling out sexual practices which the Bible says are wrong, is where the reaction comes back. Then thirdly, many Christians think that when someone comes to Christ, then all their issues will immediately be resolved. That’s not the case, and the church needs to be a place where people can work through these issues – even if that is not at the speed we might like. I drew extensively on the work of our friends at LivingOut too, folks like Ed Shaw and Anne Witton, and our old friend David Bennett too. The Q&A was lively, not everyone agreed with me; but I was able to say that I was espousing what Christians have believed through the history of the church and what biblically faithful same-sex attracted people are living and teaching today as well.

Then on the third afternoon we did, “How to Share Your Faith At Work Without Getting Fired Or Cancelled”. That was such an encouraging session because there were so many Christians there who really wanted to share their faith at work. Many were already active and wanted insights on how to do it better. It’s great in a session like this when you come to the Q&A and so many of the questions are really practical, not just theoretical. People described real conversations with colleagues and classmates and asked how to address their questions or objections more wisely. At the end of that session I was able to pray for the audience and their friends and ongoing conversations.

In Memoriam: Jeff Howarth

by Andy Bannister

The Trustees and Staff of Solas were deeply saddened to learn of the death of Jeff Howarth. Dr Jeff Howarth had retired from the post of Vice Principal (Research & Enterprise) of the University of the Highlands in 2018. During a period of some 18 years Jeff had worked for the University and secured many millions of pounds to create new research facilities and to embed them within the new university.

In his retirement Jeff served his community by joining organisations that cared for the mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing of people in the Highlands and Islands of Scotland. He sat on the Boards of the Highland Hospice and of Connecting Carers, and he chaired the Calman Trust. Connecting Carers is an organisation set up to support people in the community caring for long-term and chronically sick members of their families; Calman Trust seeks to provide support, training and work opportunities for young people who might otherwise struggle to achieve their potential. Jeff was also in great demand as a preacher and always responded eagerly to the opportunity to present the treasures of scripture to new audiences. His gifts of exposition were greatly appreciated by many people

It was therefore in some ways unsurprising that when Solas needed an Interim Chief Operations Officer Jeff readily responded to an invitation to fill this post until a more permanent employee was found. As Acting Chief Operating Officer, Jeff became an indispensable member of the Solas staff; he applied a lifetime of management experience to the task of supporting the Board, managing the day-to-day business of the office, and providing project management and support for Solas’s expansion plans. Jeff had the rare gift of attention to detail without detriment to larger strategic goals.

Jeff was a fine Christian colleague. His contribution to Solas’s devotions at the weekly staff meetings, his supportive and mature wisdom and his experience of living in Christ’s Kingdom, provided fellowship and spiritual enrichment that elevated his contribution well above his professional expertise as acting Chief Operating Officer. He became a trusted colleague, adviser, mentor and brother to all. Jeff loved Solas because he loved the Lord Jesus Christ; his passion was to glorify His name and spread the hope of the Gospel. Jeff combined his sterling honesty and integrity with a lively sense of humour. He made friends easily and inspired loyal service from colleagues.

His passing will be mourned by many and especially by his devoted wife, Janetta, and his family, David, Sarah and Esther, their spouses Julie, Steven and Daniel, and also by his grandchildren. We and they, however, also rejoice that he is now with the Lord Jesus Christ and is freed of the pains and travails of this world. “Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “they will rest from their labour, for their deeds will follow them.” Rev 14:13.

James M Fraser
Chair, Solas Trustees.

PEP Talk Podcast With Jackie Whyte

by Solas

Today on PEP Talk, Andy and Kristi speak with a chaplain working in a hospice setting. Here, mortality is a daily reality, as are experiences of suffering. What is it like to talk with folks and share the hope of Christ in such an environment? Although most of us aren’t in that position, many of us will go through the process of dying with loved ones, and our guest Jackie helps us think through how to approach it.

With Jackie Whyte – PEP Talk

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Our Guest

Jackie Whyte serves as the Chaplain working at Northern Ireland Hospice and Children’s Hospice. Having given his life to Jesus as a teenager, he worked in engineering before moving into Christian ministry. Jackie enjoys listening to Deacon Blue, watching football and walking sections of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela. He lives in Carrickfergus with his wife Nicola.

About PEP Talk

The Persuasive Evangelism Podcast aims to equip listeners to share their faith more effectively in a sceptical world. Each episode, Andy Bannister (Solas) and Kristi Mair (Oak Hill College) chat to a guest who has a great story, a useful resource, or some other expertise that helps equip you to talk persuasively, winsomely, and engagingly with your friends, colleagues and neighbours about Jesus.

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The Lost Code, Part Three: Healthcare and Hospitality

by Editor

When an ambulance rushes through the streets with sirens blaring and lights blazing, ‘common decency’ stops all traffic to make room for this vehicle on an emergency errand.
Yet care and compassion have not always been the obvious response to suffering. Belief in karma, for example, hindered intervention in anyone’s suffering as simply postponing the suffering to a later life. Sickness signified human weakness in Greek and Roman societies. Seneca, the Roman philosopher, wrote: ‘We drown children who at birth are weakly and abnormal’. Romans often fled during epidemics, leaving the sick to die unattended.

The Hebrew scriptures, however, described many instances of God healing the sick, such as when Moses held up the serpent on a stick in the wilderness (Num. 21:9). They also contained guidelines for healthy living, and a promise to save Israel from the diseases afflicted on the Egyptians: “for I am the LORD who heals you” (Ex 15:26).

The teachings and actions of Jesus went even further, introducing a revolution in healthcare thinking. Love your enemies, he taught. His Good Samaritan story made care and compassion a universal concern, not just for those of familial, religious or national affinity.

Today, the cross is a symbol used on maps, signs and vehicles to signify hospitals and medical assistance of all forms. Yet the cross was a cruel Roman instrument of torture and death until the crucifixion of Jesus transformed it into a sign of healing and hope.

That was a turning point in the history of healthcare. Healing went hand in hand with the preaching of the gospel. Shipwrecked on the island of Malta, Paul healed many sick through prayer. The Maltese today date their conversion to Christianity from this event.
In their letters, both Peter and Paul stressed that God’s people should reflect God’s character by being hospitable, welcoming, especially to strangers; elders particularly should be known for their hospitality. Our words for ‘hospitality’, ‘hostel’, ‘hospice’ and ‘hotel’ all come from the same Latin word, hospitale which derives from hospes, host, he who gives hospitality. In Matthew 25, Jesus listed the ‘works of mercy’: caring for the sick, clothing the naked, quenching the thirsty, feeding the hungry, housing the homeless and visiting the prisoners. This list has hugely influenced Christian work through the ages.

Dionysius, a bishop of the 3rd century, described how Christians ‘visited the sick without thought of their own peril,… drawing upon themselves their neighbours’ diseases and willingly taking over to their own persons the burden of the sufferings of those around them.’

Although some facilities seemed to have existed for wounded Roman soldiers, hospitals where the sick were treated and nursed were not institutionalised until after the Nicaean Ecumenical Council in 325. Delegates agreed to set up hospices in each cathedral city on their return.

Basil of Caesarea in Cappadocia (Turkey) is credited with building the first hospital (nosocomium) exclusively for caring for the sick, in 369. Others followed in Rome and Constantinople. Infirmaries became a regular part of monasteries as they spread throughout the former Roman empire. These were the world’s first voluntary charitable institutions.
The oldest operating hospital worldwide is the Hôtel-Dieu in Paris, founded by Bishop Landry in 651 AD. Built on the Île de la Cité, next to Notre-Dame, it was the only hospital in Paris up until the Renaissance.

Emperor Charlemagne sponsored the building of hospitals throughout the Holy Roman Empire. Later, during the Crusades, the Knights of St John were a military order appointed to defend and care for pilgrims in the Holy Land. They ran the 11th century hospital in Jerusalem, and became known as the Hospitallers. After the Moslem reconquest of Jerusalem, they moved eventually to Malta, and became the Knights of Malta, setting up perhaps the most advanced hospital in the world, the Sacra Infermeria, where up to 914 patients of all faiths, Christian, Moslem and others were treated.

Christian charity inspired the development of both nursing and the care of the mentally healthdisturbed. Augustinian nuns became the oldest nursing order of sisters in the 13th century, the term ‘sister’ still being used for female nurses.

After the Reformation, orders of deaconesses developed. One, founded by Theodor Fliedner in Kaiserswerth, Germany, inspired many others across Europe including Florence Nightingale, a young British Christian who visited his deaconess house and hospital before giving herself to care for the wounded in the Crimean War. On returning to London to a hero’s welcome, she founded a school of nursing at St Thomas Hospital.

Also appalled by the suffering on the battlefield, the Swiss Christian businessman Henri Dunant founded the Red Cross in 1864, and received the first Nobel Peace Prize in 1901.

The message of God’s universal love for humankind, expressed in Jesus, clearly has been the wellspring for the global spread of healthcare and hospitality which we so easily take for granted today.
______________________

Jeff Fountain is director of the Netherlands-based Schuman Centre for European Studies. This article is adapted with permission from a chapter of his forthcoming illustrated coffee-table book about how the Bible has shaped western life.

Solas and The Scotsman

by Editor

Solas has the privilege of being asked to write eight columns a year for The Scotsman. For those outside the country, The Scotsman is one of Scotland’s leading broadsheet style newspapers, which has been published from Edinburgh for over two centuries. They have an opinion column they call “Friends of the Scotman” in which public bodies write short articles about their area of interest. Solas’s articles which are always topical takes on the Christian gospel, can be found aliongside those from Trades Unions, environmental charities or transport pressure groups.

For us it is wonderful opportunity to get some of our work out beyond our usual networks into the public sqaure where we are aware that many people (who probably wouldn’t come to our website) read and engage with what we write. It’s been interesting, and encouraging to hear stories of the ways in which Christians have been able to use them to have gospel-flavoured conversations with friends and colleagues too.

Over the last year or two we have looked at a variety of topics.

The theme of tolerance and disagreement was picked up on by Andy Bannister and Gavin Matthews., while Gareth Black has written about topics as diverse as Adele’s misplaced longing on her new album, and the tragedy of Grenfell Tower. New writer Anne Witton recently asked readers to consider what happens when we die!

In the political arena we have written about the Scottish Hate Crimes Bill, about the persecution of the church around the world and what Jesus might say to Boris, what Jesus tells us about true leadership, and how we respond to scandals in public life.

In the Covid-era we looked at lockdown and family life, as well as the shocks of pandemics, recessions and suspension of liberties to western expectations of sucess and achieving a good life.  The quest for happiness and the search for true love were connected themes.

Andy Bannister didn’t particulalry like the latest Bond film, but in his review found plenty of gospel angles! And in other pieces we looked at The Beauty of the Highlands, the re-opening of churches, Christmas, grief and loss,  and repentance.

If you’ve clicked through and read any of these articles you’ll notice that Solas writers all share a particular ethos, which is to share the Christian gospel through the issues of the day. That means that we are deliberately trying to avoid two things. The first is getting embroiled in co-called ‘culture-wars’ in which we seek to win arguments about topical issues as end in itself. Instead every article seeks to use the issue at hand as a way of exploring an aspect of Jesus’ life and message. The second thing we’re trying to avoid is presenting Christian truth in a stale or unimaginaive way that won’t engage secular readers, but instead will show the relevence of the Christian gospel to life.

Thankyou to all those of you who support Solas, and make the writing and publishing of these articles possible. They take a lot of time and effort to produce. We pray that they would influence many people with the transforming message of Jesus. If you would like to help us to continue with this work, please click here.

Have You Ever Wondered Why We Long For Justice?

by Solas

Have you ever wondered why we long for justice? Why when we see or experience injustice or violence, our instinctive reaction is not to say “Ah, that’s just the survival of the fittest, isn’t it marvellous!” but to protest, to cry out for justice? Where does this universal urge come from — and is it a clue to the bigger story of us, life, and the universe?

For more on this topic, see this article from guest writer Clare Williams.

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Have You Ever Wondered What Happens When You Die?

by Editor

Growing up, I found death both fascinating and terrifying. I felt that knowing what happened after death was essential for finding purpose and meaning in life. After all, if death negated everything I’ve spent my life investing in, is it really worth doing anything at all? It would be like spending years crafting a wonderful novel, only to set it on fire when it’s finished. If the only meaning to life is enjoying the moment and “Being in the present, the here and now, is the ultimate reward of life”[1], what’s the point in existence for all the billions of people globally whose lives are full of suffering and hardship? My question was, in the words of Tolstoy, “Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy?”[2]

How about you? Have you ever wondered what happens when you die? Are we just a bunch of random atoms that will be rearranged into something else when we snuff it? Do we just cease to exist? Will we be reincarnated as someone or something else? Do we have an eternal soul that will survive our physical death? Will we face judgement? Is there hope of a life to come? Do we simply live on in the memories of the generations that come after us? If the passing on of our genetic material is our legacy, where does that leave the millions of people who don’t have children? Whatever you believe happens when you die, it seems a pretty significant question to wrestle with.

The reality is that most of us will be completely forgotten in a couple of generations. According to a recent YouGov survey, just 7% of Brits expect to be remembered for more than 50 years after their death.[3] Even people who have made a significant contribution to human history only have the sketchiest facts associated with them after a few hundred years. William Shakespeare is one of the most famous people who ever lived and yet what do we actually know about him? What was he like to talk to? What did he really care about? What was his daily routine? Who were his best friends? We don’t even know if some of the plays attributed to him were actually written by him.

With many of us living our lives increasingly online and sharing more and more information and experiences, we now we leave much bigger footprints but the question is: who is going to go looking for them in a couple of generations time? Most of us – however notable in our culture’s eyes – will be completely forgotten, even by our own families. Each generation gets diluted; we have two parents, four grandparents, eight great-grandparents and so on. Even at the stage of great-great-grandparents (just four generations) you’ve got 16 people from whom you’re removed in time and in genetic similarity. That’s how transient and ephemeral life is unless it’s given some transcendent meaning.

The book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible highlights well the ultimate futility of life if God is removed from the equation. (Chapter 1: 2 – 4 and 11)

“Meaningless! Meaningless!
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”

What do people gain from all their labours
at which they toil under the sun?

Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.
No one remembers the former generations,
and even those yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow them.

So where can any of us find ultimate meaning? Perhaps the answer lies with religion. Most religions teach that there is some kind of afterlife, whether that is reincarnation, rebirth or resurrection. The concepts of heaven and hell are known but widely misunderstood in our culture. We have a vague sense that good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell. The message of Christianity is radically different from any other faith (and from what you might expect). It teaches that none of us deserve to go to heaven as we’ve all messed up. But the good news is that Jesus has paid the price for our rebellion against God by his death and resurrection. The historical fact of Jesus’ resurrection[4] guarantees that anyone who puts their trust in him can enjoy an everlasting life as it’s meant to be, free from suffering and pain.[5]

This is at the heart of what Christianity is all about and what gives ultimate hope to life. Jesus teaches about having the right priorities in life – living for the eternal rather than just the temporary. He counsels us to invest in that which won’t be rendered void by the inevitability of death, and instead work for that which lasts (Matt 6: 19 – 21):

 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

If we turn to Christ, we will have an inheritance which can’t fade or be destroyed and will last for ever. We will enjoy eternal life with him and all the goodness of a restored creation, restored relationships and a new body long after our bodily death here. Whatever you think about death, that’s worth checking out.

 

[1] The Daily Dish, What Do Atheists Think Of Death? The Atlantic (2010) https://www.theatlantic.com/daily-dish/archive/2010/05/what-do-atheists-think-of-death/187003/ Accessed 2 June 2022

[2] Leo Tolstoy, A Confession, Chapter 5

[3] YouGov Death Study conducted from 19-23 March 2021 on a sample of 2,164 UK adults aged 16 and older. https://yougov.co.uk/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2021/10/06/yougov-death-study-britons-their-funeral-and-how-l Accessed 2 June 2022

[4] To investigate the evidence for this, see Historical Evidence for the Resurrection, Desiring God https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/historical-evidence-for-the-resurrection Accessed 2 June 2022. Resurrection – fact or fiction? BeThinking https://www.bethinking.org/booklets/resurrection-fact-or-fiction Accessed 2 June 2022.

[5] The Bible, Revelation 21: 1 – 4

PEP Talk Podcast With J John

by Solas

Pray. Care. Share. Such a simple approach, but one that J. John has been employing for over four decades of ministry. He shares with us about how he first became a Christian at college, and how he carries his passion and enthusiasm for the gospel with him today. Listen now for more memorable insights and encouragement for you to pray, care and share!

With J John – PEP Talk

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Our Guest

J. John (Revd Canon) has been an evangelist for four decades. He has spoken in towns, cities and universities in 69 countries. A minister, speaker, broadcaster and writer, J. John communicates the Christian faith in a practical way. He has his own weekly TV programme, which is broadcast globally, and a number of podcasts. He has written several books across a range of subjects including the ‘Theology for Little People’ series to help children understand biblical truth. He lives in Chorleywood with his wife Killy.

About PEP Talk

The Persuasive Evangelism Podcast aims to equip listeners to share their faith more effectively in a sceptical world. Each episode, Andy Bannister (Solas) and Kristi Mair (Oak Hill College) chat to a guest who has a great story, a useful resource, or some other expertise that helps equip you to talk persuasively, winsomely, and engagingly with your friends, colleagues and neighbours about Jesus.

Support the Podcast

The Lost Code, Part Two: Marriage and Family

by Editor

Families and marriages have existed since the start of human history, long before the Bible evolved. Yet the influence of this one book on the concept of marriage and the family relationships that resulted far outweighs any other source over the past 2000 years.
The Ten Commandments urged the honouring of one’s parents, and forbade adultery and the coveting of one’s neighbour’s wife. Yet Old Testament society was certainly not free of moral failures, as anyone familiar with the stories of Abraham, David or Solomon would know. Polygamy also was widely accepted within Jewish society.
Nevertheless, Israel’s moral standards shaped by the Mosaic laws distinguished it sharply from the surrounding nations which practiced widespread temple prostitution involving both sexes. Sexual mores in both Greece and Rome condoned practices from the top levels of society to the lowest involving various combinations and permutations of gender, humans and animals.

Greek mentors, for example, were expected to initiate sexual relationships with their young male mentorees. Romans detested marriage as a disagreeable necessity. Artwork on classical pottery and excavations at sites such as Pompeii reveal an obsession with phallic imagery and varieties of sexual activity.

Early Christians, firmly rooted in the Jewish tradition of hesed (faithful love) and in sexethicobedience to Jesus’ teaching to love God and neighbour as oneself, became a counter-cultural influence in their rejection of divorce, incest, polygamy, infidelity, homosexuality, infanticide and abortion.
The 2nd century Epistle to Diognetus described Christians as having ‘a common table but not a common bed’. Classical historian Edward Gibbon, no great friend of Christianity, nevertheless concluded that ‘the dignity of marriage was restored by the Christians’.

Christian ethics of agape (unconditional love) and of moral equality as expounded by Paul led to mutuality in marriage, understood in terms of a monogamous lifelong relationship between a man and a woman. Adultery, derived from the Latin adulterare, meaning ‘to corrupt’, compromised the integrity of the relationship and corrupted the trust essential for both marriage and family to flourish. Yet in patriarchal societies, adultery was defined in terms of a woman’s marital status, not the man’s. When did we ever hear of the man caught in adultery?

The New Testament taught that marriage foreshadowed the relationship between Jesus and his bride, the Church; that husbands should loves their wives as Christ loved the Church (a very high standard!); and that marriage meant that a man and a woman became one flesh, the creation of a new identity. The human body was also to be the temple of the Holy Spirit, and thus should be kept holy and not defiled through sexual or other impurity.

When Christianity was embraced by the Roman Empire, social mores began to change. Yet when the empire collapsed and the Roman Church became its institutional heir, extra-biblical ideas began to undermine marriage, family and the role of women. The cult of virginity and the elevation of monastic celibacy as a superior spirituality affected attitudes to family and marriage.

Nevertheless Christianity’s influence on the family was to affirm both the nuclear and extended family structure as the first school of character, yet at the same time to liberate the individual from absolute subservience to family loyalty and a tribal mentality.

The Reformation restored an emphasis on what the Bible–rather than the Church–said about marriage, sexuality and the family. Martin Luther’s ‘scandalous’ marriage to the ex-nun Katharina von Bora modelled married spiritual leadership to the Germanic peoples for the first time.
John Calvin’s methodical teaching on marriage and family spread from Geneva to other European countries and later America, stressing marriage as a covenant between a man and a woman made before God, the church, the state, family, friends and society–not an exclusive sacrament of the Church.

The fruit of these ideas in the newly formed United States greatly impressed the French magistrate Alexis de Tocqueville, raised in the aftermath of the French Revolution and the Enlightenment. Protestant teaching in America, he observed, had resulted in a very free constitution, a very democratic society, remarkable freedom for single women and marriage as a most respected institution, the source of ‘the highest and truest conception of conjugal happiness’. Morality bred freedom, he noted, and freedom reinforced morality.

Over the past fifty years, pre-Christian attitudes towards sexuality, marriage and family have been widely promoted in western society. Yet according to the European Values Studies, attitudes towards marriage and family still strongly reflect traditional Christian values:

As it comes to family values, Europeans come out surprisingly conservative. ‘Married-with-children’ is the preferred lifestyle for an overwhelming majority, despite the liberating sixties, emancipation and individualization. When we compare these attitudes with those of Greek and Roman times, we see just how profound the influence of the Bible on ideas of family and marriage has been over two millennia.
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Jeff Fountain is director of the Netherlands-based Schuman Centre for European Studies. This article is adapted with permission from a chapter of his forthcoming illustrated coffee-table book about how the Bible has shaped western life.

Evangelism and Training in Dumfries

by Editor

I recently had the pleasure of doing a Sunday of ministry with Dumfries Baptist Church in the Scottish Borders. We have several friends at DBC, not least their Pastor Alistair Purss who preached at my wedding, many years ago!

In the morning, I spoke on the subject, “Where is God in a world of suffering?” The church had arranged this as a guest service, so the message was really pitched at folks outside the church. The backdrop is of course that we are still emerging from two years in which the pandemic has dominated everything, so that was my starting point. It was encouraging to hear that there were several non-Christian folks who had come along, friends of church members, who had accepted an invitation to the service. My talk focussed on the phrase in 1 Peter 1:3 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead”. Peter was writing there to Christian people who were facing Roman persecution, and he reminds them that their hope transcends their circumstances, because it is grounded on the resurrection of Jesus. That’s why Peter isn’t talking about a ‘dead secular hope’, but a living one!

The whole service is availale here, and Andy’s talk is at 39mins.

The evening meeting, billed as  ‘Joined Up Evangelism” was designed for Christians. Starting off café-style around tables, with plenty of young people, it was sociable, informal and interactive. I did a series of short talks based on Acts 17, which were interspersed with discussions around the tables, and then we did a Q&A all together at the end. It was a different format to a normal evening service for us – but it worked really well. The Q&A only lasted about fifteen minutes, but it was clear from the depth of the questions and the levels of engagement that we could have done a lot longer had time permitted! The centre of the training we did that evening was Paul’s evangelistic method, which involved building a bridge to where the lost people were (in this case worshipping an unknown god) and bridging from there to the gospel. So we looked at what are the things in our culture that people are passionate about, and how do we use those and a springboard from which to explain the gospel and its’ relevance?

It was a really good day, spent with some terrific people, which I really enjoyed. It was also a great opportunity to really get into both sides of Solas’s mission. The morning was direct evangelism – proclaiming who Jesus is, in compelling, persuasive and relevant ways; and the evening – unpacking that evangelistic method to help other Christians do the same.

Is Christianity Good News for Women?

by Solas

Is Christianity good news for women? In today’s cultural climate, Christianity can seem increasingly like bad news for women. Does God care about the issues women faced in the past and still deal with in the present? In this Short Answers episode, guest presenter Clare Williams explores how women are dignified and integral to the Christian story.

About Clare Williams: https://realquestions.co.uk/about

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Have You Ever Wondered Why We Treat Sex As Something Sacred?

by Editor

It seems like our culture is obsessed with sex. It’s at the heart of TV shows like Sex in the City, The L Word, Sex Education and Heartstopper. Scandals about illicit romantic liaisons of the rich and famous always make the headlines. Naked Attraction, Love Island, Celebs Go Dating and Married at First Sight are typical viewing fodder because they are guaranteed to boost ratings. Advertisers cynically use sex to flog cars, perfumes and even bread because sex sells right? Magazine problem pages and online forums are full of sexual angst. Are we getting enough? Too much? Are we doing it right? How can we improve our performance?

Have you considered why we idolise, worship and obsess over sex? How has it become the god of our age? And have you wondered why – if sex is venerated so much – we also cheapen it by having one-night-stands and meaningless encounters, treating it like a simple bodily function akin to eating a chocolate bar?

Our relationship with sex is complicated, but most people spend a considerable amount of time thinking about it and worrying about it even if they’re not doing it. Most of us have an instinctive desire to be found sexually attractive. It seems that we often look to sex to complete us and validate us. We even call our sexual partners our ‘other half’. We seek sexual fulfilment to prove that we matter and are beautiful or handsome. It gives us confidence and makes us feel loved. Sometimes it makes us feel macho, powerful and in control. We often want to have sex so that we don’t feel we’re missing out. We want to feel desired.

Our twenty-first century culture isn’t unique in idolising sex. A quick survey of ancient Greco-Roman art and literature highlights the array of erotic practices that were widespread in those civilisations. We may think that we live in the most sexually liberated era, but, as the writer of Ecclesiastes wisely puts it, “There is nothing new under the sun”[1].

In some ways, this obsession is natural. After all, none of us would be here if it wasn’t for people having sex. But unfortunately, so often it doesn’t deliver what it promises. Sex can bring about a great amount of pleasure, but it can also cause a huge amount of pain and disappointment, especially when we use it selfishly or expect it to perform a role it was never designed for.

The reality is that the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s – which promised more sex and better sex for all – hasn’t delivered. We’re having sex (at any age) on average two to three times a week when in previous decades it was five[2]. Half of women aged 25 – 34 don’t enjoy sex[3]. Half! National libido is in decline. Sexual satisfaction in decline. Over just six years, the number of people who rated themselves as good at sex dropped from 55% to 33%[4]. The average number of sexual partners a person has in a lifetime has gone up, yet Nicholas Wolfinger, a sociologist at the Institute of Family Studies, observes that the evidence suggests that the more sexual partners you’ve had, the less satisfying you find sex to be”[6]. It seems like the reality for many people doesn’t match the marketing and Hollywood glitz.

As humans, we all need intimacy. We’re made for deep connection. We long to be completely known and unconditionally loved and yet many of us look for that love in human sexual relationships that will ultimately disappoint us. Marriages end, people have affairs, orgasms are illusive, sex is often painful or disappointing. Even in the best romantic relationships, one partner will die before the other. Sex is often great but it can never deliver everything we expect or hope from it. So what’s the good news? Are we doomed to chase a satisfaction that is always just out of our reach?

People often think that Christianity is squeamish about sex or that it’s incredibly restrictive because God is some cosmic killjoy. In fact, the opposite is true. There’s a whole book of the Bible (Song of Songs) that graphically and poetically depicts the joy of a sexual relationship between two lovers. God made sex as a beautiful and enjoyable thing. There is something so powerful in the act of sex. It fuses together two souls in a moment of ecstasy and unity.

But here’s the even better news for all of us, whether we’re in a sexual relationship or not. Sex is just a reflection of something bigger and even more profound. Sex points beyond itself to the exquisite joyful union that we can all experience forever with the God who made us and loves us intimately. It is a very deliberate picture of the depth of relationship that God wants to enjoy with anyone who will turn to him. We are loved and desired and we don’t need a sexual relationship to experience that. Only Jesus can meet our deepest desire for intimacy. We can confidently look forward to experiencing an eternity enjoying the full depth of God’s love, but we don’t have to grit our teeth in the meantime. A deeply satisfying and rich relationship that meets all our deepest needs and longings is available to us right now. Or as the Bible puts it: “as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.”  (Isaiah 62: 5b)

So if you really want to enjoy the greatest possible connection that will ultimately satisfy, why not explore God’s heart for you by checking out Christianity.

[1] The Bible, Ecclesiastes 1:9

[2] British National Surveys of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, 2014

[3] Public Health England, 2018

[4] The Observer Sex Survey 2008-2014

[5]  The average is now 6 – 10 with the mean being 9.5.

[6] In Olga Khazan, ‘Fewer Sex Partners Means a Happier Marriage’, The Atlantic, 2018.